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Dear Hurting Woman,

3 Aug

Dear Hurting Woman,

My name is Lisa C. Crump and I am a professional writer. Does that intro sound normal enough to you? Well, a normal background could never describe my story. I entered college with a full scholarship resulting form a high ACT score and a stellar GPA. I came from a Christian household that stressed the value of education and personal values. My future was so optimistic. During those younger days, I found myself wondering if life could get any better. I got to college and met the love of my life, or so I thought. You see Hurting Woman, I was an extremely stubborn individual and my only way to effectively learn had to unfortunately be through experience.

The first semester of my third year in college I became pregnant by my long time boyfriend. Everyone around me was worried about my current situation; but I on the other hand was not. My boyfriend and I had everything under control. We were together, in love, we were going to have a beautiful baby, prove everyone wrong, and live happily ever after. Things changed. My boyfriend became extremely violent and harsh toward me throughout the pregnancy. I was in love, but I was also no fool. The signs of his tendencies were always there, I just chose to ignore them. Many times I would arrive back to my dorm room with my head adverted so that my roommate wouldn’t notice the busted lips, or the bruised jaws. She noticed, but I still wouldn’t listen to reason. Things would get better, I thought. I would excuse his behavior as just being stressed, and continued blaming myself for his actions.

For a couple of months after our son was born, everything was blissful. He was the perfect father. The three of us were completely in love with each other. Of course, all good things must come to an end. The arguments started again and always resulted in bruises. Sometimes, I just wanted to get up and leave. But I couldn’t, because we lived together and everything was in his name, so where on earth would I go?

March 7, 2007 was the day that my life and my reality as I knew it at the age of 21 completely shifted. He was cheating and my knowledge of the situation started a violent and explosive argument, while our seven month old sat there and helplessly watched. I turned around for a split second and in the instant that I turned back around to face “the love of my life”, a high chair tray was coming full force toward my head. I raised my arm to shield my head but not in time. He struck me in the head with the high chair tray with a force that broke the tray into pieces. As I attempted to fight back with the little strength that I had left, he punched and slapped my face and chest leaving deep purple welts and contusions. As I lay on the ground barely conscious…. he put a knife to my neck. He wouldn’t really kill me; but would he? God had mercy on me, and he backed away and left the house. I’m not sure where, and at the time I didn’t care. I immediately called a friend who rushed from a nearby city to take my little one and me back with her. As we sat in the emergency room, she begged me to press charges. All I could think about is how in love we were at the beginning. I was completely delusional. She brought me back into the city the next day, I pressed charges, but I wanted to die.

Not long after court proceedings were over, he informed me that he was returning to his hometown. When I asked him, “How are you going to take care of your son?”, he answered, “That is no longer my problem”. At the time, those words were the worst thing I could have heard as a young mother. When I look back, leaving his son’s life was the best thing he could have done. My struggle was real as a single parent and I am thankful, because I learned a valuable lesson for every moment of it. I remember not having a car and being forced to ride public transportation to drop my child off at daycare and go to work. There were days when I put him into the stroller and walked to the grocery store in the summer heat. I took him with me to campus to finish class assignments and administration looked the other way as long as I kept him quiet. Many days I went without food so that my son could eat. At the time I thought my life would never progress; but little did I know…. God was preparing me.

Just a word of advice Hurting Woman, transform your nasty attitude to an attitude of gratitude. What if God rewarded you tomorrow with only what you thanked him for today? Instead of wondering why God is putting you through the things that he puts you through, thank God for not allowing you to encounter much worse.

Hurting woman, I know the whispers of the naysayers around you are getting to you. It feels like people are using you for target practice. It hurts doesn’t it? I just want you to know that I have been there. The enemy’s attack is not on your present; it’s on what you could be in the future. Certain people can sense that you are destined for greatness despite your circumstances, and they can’t stand it! Kill those people with a Christian-like kindness. Let their ridicule drive you to evolve from your circumstances as the bold woman that you are.

We fall down but isn’t it amazing how we get back up? I know it seems like you are making the same mistakes over and over again, but sometimes it takes more than one experience to learn a lesson. You see, I repeated the “Same Script, Different Cast” kind of life for a while. I found myself going through the same situations over and over again; with the only thing changing was the character. The trick to adverting this scenario is to delve deep into yourself and really get to the root of what’s causing you to consistently repeat your past. Be patient Hurting Woman, time will heal all wounds.

Well Hurting Woman, I won’t keep you much longer. It’s just that when I look at how far God has brought me, as far as my situation and attitude, I am so thankful. I should have been dead, but God blocked it. There were many test and trials, and together, we made it. Hurting Woman, my message to you comes from the depths of my soul. I am instructing you to end your pity party. Misery does not become a beautiful and strong woman such as you. Whatever trials you are going through, know that God is simply preparing you for that shift that your life is about to take. Your life doesn’t have to end where it is. Your test will convert into your testimony. You too, can turn your story into triumphs. I CHALLENGE YOU to believe it with EVERYTHING in you.


Lisa Crump

Ms. Single Young Mother